If I ever show up dead under suspicious circumstances, there are a couple of things you need to know:
Never say I lit up a room. That is bullshit and anyone who knows me knows it’s bullshit. Just say I was fairly nice to most people.
Forget the FBI, get True Crime TikTokkers on my case.
This weekend, the True Crime TikTokkers (TCTT) worked so fast my jaw dropped.
Have you heard about Mica Miller yet? It’s okay, I didn’t know who she was until Saturday and I’ve learned a fuckton in the last 24 hours. On Saturday, I was doing my usual doomscroll through TikTok and I came upon a video of an announcement from a pastor. I stopped because typically those videos are some asshole preaching from the pulpit about how only the Devil wants women to vote and rape isn’t so bad, why all the fuss, ladies? They piss me off, so I like to leave shitty comments. I was all ready to type: “I hope you die from ass cancer” but then I realized this video was different.
It was still a smarmy middle-aged dude sporting his “I’m not like other Christians, I’m a cool Christian” outfit of an untucked plaid shirt and a pair of crisp jeans and a stupid, phony, punchable face. He was like, “I have an announcement y’all.”
[This story is moving FAST, so from here on out, I’m going to share facts about this case, suspicions about this case, opinions about this case, and a bunch of bizarre coincidences that feel a little too perfect. I’ll try to be clear about fact vs. speculation vs. opinion.]
So, JP (the pastor) tells his flock that he’s not going to end the service with the usual altar call, but instead, he has an announcement to make. Then he goes on to give them a shit ton of instructions to follow: stand up, listen to the announcement, leave in silence, and DON’T talk about the announcement inside the building. He also says he’s going to be on a break but he doesn’t know how long—maybe a week or a month. While he’s gone he doesn’t want to worry about the church, so he wants everyone to be sure that no matter what he says, they need to keep coming to church and giving. (I thought it was weird that he put “giving” in there. He was like, “Save your soul and keep paying my mortgage.”)
At this point, I’m like, “What the fuck, dude? Just tell us already!”
And then he says he got a phone call the night before and he was told his wife had passed away. He added that her death was “self-induced.” (What the fuck does that even mean, man? Do you mean self-inflicted? Are you saying she died by suicide?) He mentioned her struggles with mental health and was like, “You know how she was, am I right? Anyhoo, pray for me, there will be a funeral next week. See you there. Byyyeeee.”
So damn weird!
I finished his video and I had so many questions. The comments were full of people who had some answers. I found out that this announcement came after he finished preaching two full sermons with jokes and shit and no mention that his wife was dead! Immediately, I opined, Dude killed her. Thousand percent.
Listen, I watch enough Netflix and Oxygen and Lifetime to know if there’s a dead wife, it’s the husband. Again, cliche!
But I was hooked. I needed to know more. That’s when I went down the rabbit hole and I was pleased to see that TCTT was already on Mica’s case. They were like, “Nah, bro is fishy AF. Let’s dig up everything we can find.”
The first thing I noticed was how pretty Mica was. She really DID light up a room! Not that JP is ugly, but he’s not handsome. He’s just kind of meh and his personality is so fake and annoying. I was a little surprised that such a vivacious young woman would be with him.
Luckily, TCTT started filling in ALL the blanks:
When Mica was 14, she met JP who was 28. He was married with 5 kids and, oh yeah, he was her pastor. He proceeded to groom the fuck out of her. They began “hanging out” together when she was 14 but it was fine. Nothing weird about a 14-year-old girl hanging out with her married pastor who was twice her age. And even though he admitted they had an affair, he waited until she was 23 and he was 37 before he finally locked her in. He made her a wife and a stepmom to 5 kids before she was 25.
EW. Gross, but not really surprising. Anymore now, I just expect these guys to have an obsession with teenagers. It’s so common, it’s cliche. Yawn.
After JP’s announcenment, some of Mica’s friends and family started speaking out on social media. They didn’t like how JP delivered the news. He called her death “self-induced” but the police hadn’t yet said what they thought. Her friends and family went on to allege that JP abused her throughout their entire marriage.
Again, this tracks. When you have a younger woman and an older man in a conservative Christian environment where the power dynamic is so fucked, abuse is bound to happen. It’s absolutely infuriating but not at all shocking. It just re-confirmed for me that JP was the one who pulled the trigger.
But then, the plot thickened! A few hours later we had pictures of JD on a “date” with a blond woman named Susie. This picture was supposedly taken just days after his announcement at church. These two are at a coffee shop or something and they’re having a grand time. She’s laughing like JD is hilarious and not at all a douchebag and he’s lapping it up because he’s a doucebag. I don’t know if they’re a couple or not, but they’re definitely cozy. It feels like a side piece, but I could be wrong.
You’re probably like, OK, big whoop. He has a girlfriend. They almost always do, right? Rarely do these guys kill their wives so they can get a bachelor pad. They always want another wife to move in and cook them dinner and do their laundry immediately. She’s a keeper if she can get blood out of his shirt!
I was dismayed to see that JP was just recycling the same plotline most Dateline’s have. I was hoping he might have done something a bit more interesting but what did I expect from such a punchable face?
I rejoined the real world and ran some errands. When I checked in with a TCTT a few hours later her newest video claimed she had “new updates” on Mica’s case! I hit play, half expecting to see a rehash of what we already knew or more speculation. But this TCTT was a pro. They had gone in the public records and found out that Mica had filed for divorce from JP in October. You don’t say…that’s interesting. AND she had a no-contact order AND she’d made a cryptic Facebook video two weeks before her death about getting out of a dangerous situation.
Before I could even process all of that, another video popped up exclaiming EVEN MORE shocking revelations. What else could there be??
You guys. You need to sit down for this one. Remember, Susie? JP’s side chick at the coffee shop. Well, she’s a member of his church. And, she too, has suffered a loss. That’s right, Susie is a widow! I’m sorry, whut??? So, Susie had a husband named Christopher. Christopher was a motivational speaker who was paralyzed in a car accident when he was in college. He used a wheelchair to get around. Three years ago, Christopher went to his neighborhood pool and got his wheelchair a little too close to the edge and fell in. His wheelchair did not float. The coroner said it was an accident. It sounds like an accident. But…it’s quite a coincidence isn’t it?
Also, guess who behaved bizarrely on stage delivering Christopher’s eulogy? Ding! Ding! Ding! Pastor JD!
I can’t even with this shit. My jaw was on the floor at this point. I couldn’t handle any more. How could the police NOT investigate further? TikTok was blowing up with people demanding the police take another look at Mica’s death because the red flags were ENORMOUS.
And now, if that wasn’t enough, the word on True Crime TikTok street is that Mica had a journal stashed somewhere that is full of some crazy ass, insane, disgusting, and alarming stories about JP. I won’t go into detail here, but think of the worst stuff you can think of and then double it and write it down and that’s what’s in Mica’s journal.
If even half of what the journal supposedly says is true, JP is deep shit—and that’s without a murder charge. He’s one sick fucker, IF this stuff is true.
So, there’s a lot to digest here, so let’s do a quick summary:
Opinion: JP is a douche.
Fact: JP is a pastor and husband to Mica.
Opinion: Mica was a lovely YOUNG woman.
Fact: Mica had been with JP since she was a teenager.
Opinion: That’s gross.
Fact: Mica died under really odd and horrific circumstances.
Guess: Susie is probably JP’s side chick.
Fact: Susie had a husband who died under really unusual and horrific circumstances.
Opinion: Both of these deaths are so fucking suss.
Fact: JP wrote Mica’s obituary which had phrases like, “She would praise her husband after every church service telling him he was the best preacher in the world (even if it wasn’t true).” and “Mica loved her ice bath, nice car, sauna, house, etc.”
Opinion: JP is a narcissist.
Guess: Mica’s journal is juicy and full of some nasty shit.
Opinion: Mica’s journal is going to be her voice from the beyond and it will nail JP.
Fact: It’s never a drag queen.
Tick Tock, Motherfucker. Between TCTT and the police, justice is coming, JP.
My favorite thing in the world is when you report on breaking news stories. I would watch the shit out of the Throat Punch News Network.
And just like that, nothing will get done today as I jump into this rabbit hole, thanks LOL