A New Couple Just Soft Launched
And I called it weeks ago
I’m a goddamn psychic. Get me a crystal ball and I’ll tell you the future! Actually, I don’t even need a crystal ball. I just need a functioning brain, a ridiculously deep knowledge of romance books, and eyes that can see.
You might remember a few weeks ago when I fantasized about a conversation between JD “Couch Fucker” Vance and his wife, Usha. In my 100% made up discussion between the two, I said that Peter Thiel had ordered Couch Fucker to dump Usha and make Erikkka Kirk his new wife. That way he’d have a real shot at the White House. He can’t be the president of a bunch of racist mofos when his wife isn’t white and she’s the daughter of immigrants. And we all know that Couch Fucker wants to be president. I read his shitty book. I know what’s in his black heart. He wants to be president sooooo bad. He’d literally do anything to get that job. After attending an Ivy League University (which he now denounces as woke), he aligned himself with the anti-Christ hunter, Peter Thiel (spoiler alert, Pete, the call is coming from inside the house), conveniently forgot that he called DJT “Hitler” when he agreed to be his VP, and now he’s villainizing people who rely on SNAP, holding the money hostage even though he once benefited from food stamps. Basically, he’s a hillbilly troll who pulled up the ladder behind him and now he has an eye on the White House, and he has no problem changing who he is to get there. Including dumping his wife.
MAYBE.
