People I Want to Punch in the Throat

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Alex Murdaugh is Guilty

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Alex Murdaugh is Guilty

Right??

Jen Mann
Mar 1
19
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Alex Murdaugh is Guilty

jenmann.substack.com
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Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

If you’ve been around me for any length of time, then you know that there are a few things I love:

  1. Not wearing pants.

  2. Dresses with pockets.

  3. Murder.

I am all about that true crime life. I have no idea why. Believe me, the Hubs is a little afraid of my knowledge of stone-cold murderers.

Whenever there’s a news story about some happy mom of three who went for a run and never came home and her husband is like, “I don’t know where Michelle went! I’m so worried about her.”

The Hubs will say, “Wow, that’s awful. Can you imagine not knowing where she is?”

And I’m like, “Dude killed her and she’s stuffed in a barrel at his storage unit that she didn’t even know he had.”


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Sure enough, three days later we find out Michelle’s head was in her husband’s trunk and he’s already cashing in on the life insurance and planning a wedding with his girlfriend.

The Hubs is always astounded. “How did you know?”

Because IT’S ALWAYS THE HUSBAND.

Usually.

So when I saw the Alex Murdaugh double murder story the first thing I said was, “The husband did it. I don’t know why, but he did it.”

And now that I’ve read every article I can, watched every documentary/Dateline/2020 story out there, and consumed every podcast that even barely covers this mystery, I’m POSITIVE he did it.

Dude is shady AF. His family is shady AF. This story is wild AF.

As a writer, I’m pissed I didn’t come up with this story first. In fact, if this was a series on HBO instead of real life, people would be crying foul. “There’s no way this all happened to one family! This is unbelievable!”

Because it is. At this point, there are 5 bodies attached to this ridiculously powerful family and those are just the ones we know about. I watch Alex and his smarmy brothers burst into crocodile tears and I feel nothing. They aren’t even good actors. This family has been covering shit up for one another for years.


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And as far as I can tell, the defense is a lot of, Yes, Alex is a privileged, pill-popping liar, cheat, and thief…but he’s not a murderer. He’d NEVER do such a horrible thing. He has morals, y’all!

Nope. I’m not buying it. He’s been lying from the start of this whole thing and then he’s like, Okay, yeah, I lied about where I was on the night my wife and son were murdered. I was right there with them. But I turned my back for like a second and then they were dead. So weird! No idea how it happened. I had to lie to the police, though, because I was paranoid—from all the pills I’m addicted to—not from getting caught doing the murders.

And don’t get me started on the weird nicknames. Paw Paw, Buster, Bubba, and Alex (pronounced “Alec”) and Murdaugh (pronounced “Murdock”). I can’t even. Again, a reader would be like, “You can’t have a character talking about Buster the grandpa, Buster the son, and Bubba—Paw Paw’s dog—all in one breath. It’s too much. Even for Southern Gothic.”

It might be too much, but this story has me riveted. There are only a few people in this whole thing I feel sorry for:

  1. Mallory Beach who made the mistake of getting on a boat with a drunk Paul Murdaugh.

  2. Gloria Satterfield who made the mistake of working for the Murdaughs.

  3. Stephen Smith who might or might not have had a run-in with Buster Murdaugh on a dark and lonely road.

Do I feel bad for Maggie and Paul?

Honestly, not really. From what I’ve learned, they don’t seem that sympathetic to me. However, no matter how unlikable they were, I also don’t think they deserved to be murdered. And clearly, they trusted the wrong man.

I can’t wait for that jury to come back hung. Yeah, I’ve already come to terms with the verdict. There’s no way a jury is going to convict “Mr. Alex.” At the end of the day, the Murdaughs are dirty but since 1920 they’ve been the law in a 5 county district that is called “Murdaugh County.”

Nah, Pop-Pop is going to walk.

What do you think?

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Alex Murdaugh is Guilty

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Andra Watkins
Mar 1

Well, you know where I live. About an hour from this sordid saga. Even though I grew up in rural South Carolina, I forgot how batshit crazy it could get.

Yes, he's guilty. Yes, he'll probably get off.

I ran two law firms as a prior career. I don't know a single attorney who would miss $10 million. Those people fight amongst themselves over every cent. There is no fucking way the rest of those assholes didn't know he was stealing. They're ALL stealing from their clients, and they're throwing this drama out as a smokescreen. The feds need to dismantle that entire law firm and the whole law enforcement apparatus there, lock a bunch of people up, and start over.

I could go on and on and on about the corruption in Hampton County, but it isn't only there. This whole state is riddled with families like the Murdaughs.

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Megan
Mar 3Liked by Jen Mann

HOLY EFFING SH*T!

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