Apparently, The Hubs Thinks We're Rich-Rich
The Hubs and I are both self-employed, so we don’t have traditional jobs where we get steady paychecks every two weeks. Because of this, we have times where we’re paying our bills no problem and other times where we’re like, “Oh shit, check the couch for change.”
No matter our financial state, the Hubs is always telling me I need to cut back on my spending. Every time the Amazon truck shows up at our house, he grumbles. Every time I return from the store with five bags of stuff we really need, he groans. He’s constantly following me around, turning off lights, changing the thermostat, and grousing that my showers are way too long.
Just last week he found my hiding place for Amazon boxes. “What the hell did you buy, Jen?” he asked, as he dug through probably a dozen unopened boxes.
Listen, we’re in an unknown geopolitical situation right now. We have no idea what the insane orange and the ketamine-fueled fool are going to do next. I just saw today that Reddit is losing their collective mind because (allegedly, possibly, perhaps) the French sent a nuclear sub to the coast of Canada—to protect Canada from US. WE are the bad guys now, y’all. And I will not be caught trying to escape this fascist regime in the middle of the night without a fully stocked go-bag. And so, those boxes are full of supplies that we’re going to need when we hoof it to Canada Von Trapp Family Style.
The Hubs rolled his eyes when I told him what I’d spent our hard-earned money on, but you know what? He scoffed at me in February of 2020 when I ordered TONS of toilet paper, facemasks, hand sanitizer, and Clorox. He wasn’t mad when we never ran out of shit during lockdown. I’m not a prepper, but I do have high anxiety, I spend a lot of time on the internet, I spot trends, and I read a lot of history, thus…
GET YOURSELF A GO-BAG, FOLKS.
But I digress. What I really wanted to tell you about was the Hubs’ hypocrisy when it comes to spending money on frivolous things.
He easily outdid me with extravagant spending this week. I find it quite rude of him to deny me MREs and saddle bags for our dogs so they can carry their own shit when he’s spending money like we’re rich-rich.
Look what I found in the trash today:
He didn’t even have the common sense to hide the evidence! He just put it out there with no fucks given. He was like, “Yeah, I ate 4 eggs this morning because I think money grows on trees.”
FOUR EGGS.
We only had a dozen and he ate FOUR of them.
I need to examine this flagrant abuse of resources and make changes to my plans going forward:
Clearly I need more MREs. Who knew he could eat so much in one sitting?
This reminds me he needs to get his cholesterol checked soon.
It’s time to look at investing in chickens. Will my HOA allow it? Absolutely not, but we’re in unprecedented times and I will not allow the HOA to control my family’s egg supply! Also, Costco has the cutest chicken coops right now and I’ve been looking for an excuse to buy one.
I don’t want to break down what his meal cost us, but let’s just say Adolpha and I are having steak tonight and I bet it will be cheaper than his breakfast. If he’s still hungry after that giant meal, he can have a Costco hot dog for dinner when we go to get the chicken coop.
Come through Vermont and we'll join you on your way to Canada. I'm hoping my husband's expertise in his homebuilding industry job will open the "door" for us. :)
I ate 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast Sunday. It was a celebratory meal because I'd moved and I got the last box unpacked. (I didn't say pot away, just unpacked.) And then my daughter reminded me I still had a couple of boxes in her storage bin. After I ate the eggs. I'm so ashamed.