Call Your Mother

Or she'll find you in the metaverse

Photo: ChaCha Watson/Facebook

I saw a story this morning about a mom who is going viral because she joined her kid’s Roblox game when she wouldn’t pick up the phone.

So, the mom was out but needed her daughter’s help. The daughter wouldn’t answer her phone because if she answered the phone, she’d be kicked out of her game. Luckily, the mom has a Roblox account, so she logged in and hopped into a virtual car with her kid to tell her to defrost the lasagna and the garlic bread in the freezer so they could have it for dinner!

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It’s the same gripes our moms had but with newer technology. I can remember my mom getting frustrated when she’d call home for something and the line would be busy because I was getting all the good gossip from my friends.

So then my parents paid for call-waiting, thinking I’d do the right thing and answer the other line. But I knew it was my mom calling to tell me to vacuum the stairs or something, and I didn’t want to do that!

Now my kids have their own direct lines with call-waiting, video chat, text messaging, direct messages, and more but I still can’t get them to answer me! Technology was supposed to make everything easier, but it’s just created a bunch more ways my kids can ignore me.

I could relate so hard to this story!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve called my kids when they’re in their games and they won’t pick up. Or Gomer will finally pick up, but he can’t do anything for another “twenty minutes or so” because he’s in the middle of a mission and the only way out is to finish the mission or die trying.

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I would love to hop into their games and reach them.

But neither one of my kids still plays Roblox and they won’t let me into their online world. The mom in the news story was friends with her daughter in Roblox. My kids don’t want to be my online friend. They don’t even follow me on social media because I “ruin” their algorithm. No. If I’m going to do this, both of my kids will require a long con.

These days Adolpha spends more of her time chatting with friends on Discord. But she has everything set to private, so I can’t just DM her or join her server. I’ll need to create some kind of cute teenage boy catfish so I can get her to talk to me. Then, after a while, she’ll trust me, and I‘ll swoop in! Instead of telling her how cute she is or asking for money, I’ll say, “It’s cool to help your mom! You should go move the laundry from the washer to the dryer.”

And Gomer plays Call of Duty. I think that one’s a bit harder than chatting on Discord. I’ve never actually played and it seems like it takes some gaming skills, which I have none of. But I could learn! I could create a Call of Duty account today and practice in secret. That way the next time he tells me he can’t leave his game just yet, I can go in and finish his game for him—from my sniper’s nest.

“Sorry, bro. Your mom says it’s time for dinner!”