Chapter 13: Serves Me Right For Trying to Do Something Nice

Some form of this post will eventually be included in Living with People I Want to Punch in the Throat. It is unedited and in rough draft form.

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A few years ago, my friend Doris called me and asked me if I wanted to volunteer with her at a charity golf event.

“What’s in it for me?” I asked, because deep down, I’m a giver.

Doris laughed. “Nothing. You get to do a nice thing and help out an organization you care about.”

I scowled. “Sounds like a scam.”

“Jen! It’s a charity!” Doris said.

“I don’t have any money,” I said.

“I know. That’s why you give them your time,” Doris said.

“What do I have to do?” I asked. “I can’t golf.”

“Oh god, no. Neither can I,” Doris said. “I imagine they’ll have us drive a golf cart full of VIPs. Or maybe we’ll help out the sponsors. They each have a hole where they have games and giveaways and stuff. Trust me, it will be fun!”

“Will it?” I asked. “Golf is terrible. It’s so damn boring. Also, it’s sweaty. You know how much I hate to sweat.”

“Come on, Jen, you’re breaking your promise. What happened to