Chapter: The One Joke the Hubs Asked Me to Stop Saying

Some form of this post will eventually be included in Living with People I Want to Punch in the Throat. It is unedited and in rough draft form.

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As you’ve probably guessed by now, the Hubs is very okay with me throwing him under the bus. In fact, many times some of the worst stories I tell about him are ones that HE reminded me about.

For instance, when I was re-writing Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat, my publisher wanted more chapters (as they should since the original was a fucking pamphlet). My editor suggested I write about other holidays than Christmas.

When I asked my mom if she could remember any stories from my childhood, she replied, “There are other holidays than Christmas?”

So, I turned to the Hubs. When we’d been married over a decade and spent several non-Christmas holidays together, I figured he’d have an idea for me.

“You should tell the story about your first Mother’s Day,” he replied.

I didn’t know what he was talking about. I couldn’t remember my first Mother’s Day very well. The only thing I could remember was that my childless cousin hosted us for lunch and she suggested that the female cousins cook lunch for everyone since it was Mother’s Day. I couldn’t get her to understand that I was a mom too and should be excused from cooking. I just kept saying, “But I’m a mom now.” Over and over again. I think I brought a side dish and rolls.

“I remember that my mom bought me a gift and said it was from Gomer,” I accused the Hubs.

“No,” he reminded me. “I bought you a gift. According to you, it was a horrible gift. You’ve probably blanked it out.”

And then I remembered.