Craziest Things I've Seen on the Internet Today

Jan. 31, 2025

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

I’ve been trying to take some extended breaks from social media because…well, I think we all know why. Our brains can’t handle the overload of insanity, so we need some downtime to watch true crime docs and play solitaire on our phones—or at least I do.

Today, I got back on after a couple of days and here’s some the craziest things that I saw:

1. That stupid “log-rolling champ” from The Real World is the Secretary of Transportation now? Between him, ICE Barbie, and the guy who says he’ll stop drinking if you let him have control of the DOD, this cabinet is looking a lot like next season’s cast of “Dancing with the Stars.”

2. Sure, I get irrationally angry every time a stupid fucking Cyber Truck drives by me, but I’ve found a new trigger for me. I’m calling them “aggressive crosses.” For a long time, people have worn crosses on chains around their necks. Some are gold, some are silver, some are wooden, some are diamond encrusted, but they’ve never bothered me before. Until I saw the first press briefing with the new press secretary, Karoline Leavitt, where I was practically assaulted by the ridiculously large cross hanging around her neck. It was an interesting juxtaposition to see such a “good Christian woman” displaying her devotion to God while lying through her teeth.

3. Social media influencers can apply for press badges. I don’t know how I feel about this, exactly. I do think we need to embrace new media as a way to reach younger voters (on both sides) but I worry about influencers unprofessionalism. I can’t count on them to fact-check or keep the administration accountable. Actually, it doesn’t matter, I guess, they’re never going to pick someone who doesn’t toe the line.

4. Trump says DEI caused the plane crash in DC. I can’t even with this bullshit. Because the plane originated from Wichita, we’ve had quite a bit of coverage on the local news and there were so many people on that plane (and in that helicopter) that were loved and are being mourned, and this buffoon goes on a tirade about DEI. It’s disgusting. I guess he doesn’t want to accept any responsbility even though he’s the one who fired the Director of the FAA, froze hiring anymore air traffic controllers, and removed several safety protections. His actions have consequences and he’s just getting warmed up.

5. RFK, Jr. has a sex diary. Excuse me while I go and throw up. I would rather hear about his brain worm, the small animals in a blender, the bear, and the whale head, and his theories on Lyme Disease being cooked up in a government lab before knowing about his exploits. How did he get so many women to fuck him? He looks like someone who would give you ringworm.

6. A bunch of food is being recalled because it could be deadly. Lay’s Potato chips, salmon, broccoli, chocolate, and milk are being recalled.

7. A truck driver has been trapped in a sinkhole in Japan for over 24 hours. They’re still trying to figure out how to get him out.

8. OpenAI is accusing China of stealing their content. Kind of like how OpenAI stole every author’s content? Go fuck yourself, OpenAI.

9. A U.S. Court of Appeals ruled that a federal ban on gun sales to TEENAGERS is unconstitutional. Cool, cool, cool.

10. Meanwhile, in Florida, a grandmother was acquitted of manslaughter for the death of her baby granddaughter she left in a hot car while she was babysitting. The crazy (and absolutely frustrating) part about this story is that the jury was not allowed to know that the older sibling of this baby ALSO DIED on Grandma’s watch. Yeah, Grandma fell asleep while she was babysitting and the toddler drowned in a pond on the property. She was found guilty of a lesser charge and could spend up to 5 years in prison.

That’s enough internet for me for today. What crazy shit did you see?

Stay sane, friends!!