Does Your Family Celebrate Green Wednesday?
I can't even imagine asking my mom to please pass the pot potatoes.
I think we’re all familiar with Black Friday, but have you ever heard of Green Wednesday?
I swear, I am always the last person invited to the parties y’all are throwing. In case you’re like me and you have to wait for the “hot” new trend that’s been around for probably 5 years to trickle down to your front page of MSN news app, then let me fill you in.
Green Wednesday is the day before Thanksgiving. It is called this because that’s the day that thousands of Americans flock to their nearest marijuana dispensary and descend upon it like a plague of locusts.
Even though that same pot will be on sale the day AFTER Thanksgiving, many folks can’t wait that long. There’s no way in hell they’re going to get through a meal with the family without a gummy—or two. But not everyone’s smoking for anxiety, some of these people are foodies. Thanksgiving is a holiday that’s all about the food and nothing pairs better with your bong than grandma’s pumpkin pie. The food tastes better and no one cares that you have the munchies because there’s enough food for a literal army. Eat up! And let’s not forget the health concious side of the family. They’re lighting up so they can avoid calories from alcohol. No one wants to drink their daily allotment. And in the past, alcohol was the preferred vice at the table but it can lead to a lot of fights whereas Mary Jane brings the chill.
I’ve never thought about going to Thanksgiving high. Well, I can’t because I live in Kansas…but Missouri has legal weed. Hmm…maybe I can convince a Missouri relative to host this year. There was a survey done by the industry and 70% of respondents said they were buying enough to share with others at the table. Wow! I’m not sure my family that generous.
The more I think about it, though, the more I think we need to celebrate over the border and I should bring an apple pie with a special ingredient. After all, it’s going to be just a couple of weeks after the U.S. presidential election and half of our dinner table is going to be PISSED AS FUCK about the results. Alcohol will make someone flip the table and ruin my aunt’s beautiful tablescape. But grass will make everyone cool with anything and keep the table on all four legs. I’m not sure how much cannibas I would have to consume in order to be cool with another term of President Trump. I hope I don’t have to find out!
What about you? Are you celebrating Green Wednesday this year?
Yes please! I am down with a new tradition oh yes I am💨✌🏼
Jesus Christ, where was this idea for all the years we were at my sister's house? Would have made my nephew and brother a hell of a lot easier to deal with. Can you go over the border and bring some back? Most places assume you're in town to visit for the holidays and don't question it.