I am Addicted to Love is Blind
Can't Stop. Won't Stop.
Who else is watching Love is Blind on Netflix??
WARNING: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS HERE.
I said SPOILERS.
DO NOT GO ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO RUIN THIS SHIT FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT, YOU WERE WARNED.
ONE LAST WARNING!!
AVERT YOUR EYES.
Here we go…
I still haven’t finished it yet, but I can guess where it’s headed. I think I’ve seen one or two weddings so far. Maybe three.
I saw SK dump Raven at the altar. I actually thought those two have legit reasons not to get married yet, but I think they could maybe make it work in the future. At least they didn’t end their day screaming at one another. It broke my heart when Raven worried about SK and how hard it was for him to say no and then when his mom came to check on her…tears. It was classy. I’m pretty sure I would have flipped a table. Raven is super independent and SK is a bit of a traditionalist, so it will take some compromise from both of them to work it out. The school thing doesn’t help. Why would SK go on a show to find a wife when he’s leaving town?? I know he warned her in the pods, but still. Uncool. But then I cringed when Raven expected them to live in different cities and SK should pay for her apartment. Where’s my independent lady gone? Still, they seem mature enough about their relationship and I’m rooting for them.
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I saw Alexa and Brennon’s wedding. Did we have any doubts this would be a go?? Absolutely not. This couple will go down in the Love is Blind history books right next to Lauren and Cameron. Maybe it’s the way they edit, but I don’t recall Alexa and Brennon disagreeing about anything. Alexa says, “Jump” and Brennon says, “Yes, ma’am, how high?” Unless Brennon wakes up one day with a strong opinion or can’t pay Alexa’s AmEx bill, I see this couple making it for the long haul. BTW, hopefully Alexis will start repeating some outfits. That was a weird conversation, right??
I saw Barf-tiste dump the ever-loving shit out of Nancy at the altar. I was done with Bartiste the first time they introduced him in the pods. He was such a phony egotistical performer. He wasn’t charming or interesting or entertaining in any way. The one time I felt bad for him was when Raven was doing her workout while he was pouring out his heart on the other side of the wall. BUT then once I really got to know Bartiste better, I was applauding Raven. In fact, one of the most satisfying moments in the show was the interaction between Bartiste and Raven in the pool when he was like, “Crazy how we were both into one another in the pods and now we’re here in person” and Raven was like dead in the eyes and gave him an, “Uh-huh.” And then he was like, “You’re hot. I’m hot. Weird that we’re not together” and she was like, “Kewl.” I loved it. And then in the confessional when she was like, “Yeah, bro, I was hot in the pods too, but you didn’t notice but now that you see me you’re interested. Fuck all the way off.”
But the part about Bartiste that bugged me the most was how he just hammered Nancy on her looks. WTF, dude? Nancy is a goddamn beauty inside and out. That woman bent over backward to make you happy and you just shit on her. CONSTANTLY.
And I’d like to understand where his confidence comes from. He is a freaking 5. OK. That hair makes him look like a rodeo clown. The ONE thing that man has going for him is he’s tall. That’s it. That’s literally all he’s got. Do his mirrors at home not work? Does he think he’s fantastically interesting? Where does this unbridled confidence come from?? I really want to know.
When he dumped her and her whole family looked ready to jump him, I was cheering for them. I mean, the brother was being kind of a dick about “wasting his time.” For fuck’s sake man, your sister just got DUMPED but go on about your inconvenience. I was hoping her mom would punch him in the throat.
I think Nancy finally woke up at that point. She’d been trying so hard to hold them together and for what? Move on, Nance. You’re amazing and you deserve someone who can make you happy. NOT Andrew and his “sexual kung fu” and fake ass tears.
I’m about halfway through the lead-up to Cole and Zaneb’s wedding. (Is it bad that I just want to start fast-forwarding through all the getting-ready bullshit? Yeah, we know that you’re nervous and excited and worried. We don’t need to watch the boys play pool with their buddies and answer questions like, “Are you ready, man? This is for life, bro. This is a huge decision.” Or hear the girls say, “I won’t know my answer until I walk down the aisle.” Are you kidding me?? You don’t know yet what you want to do??) Tonight, I plan to skip the rest of the prep and get right to the vows. I am guessing Cole will dump Zay (Also, was that ever a nickname that she used, or did Cole just come up with it because he finds her name difficult to say??) at the altar. He’ll be like, “I still don’t think you’re pretty enough for me. I like 10s and you’re a solid 9. I can do better.” What I’m HOPING will happen is Zaneb will text him from the car and be like, “I’m out. Good luck, little man. You don’t want a wife, you want a mom. Also, hang up your fucking towel, you worthless douchebag.”
And then the grand finale will, of course, be Matt and Colleen. I can’t even believe we’ve gotten this far, Colleen. What are you doing??? In the pods, Colleen gave off a sense of desperation. I don’t know if that’s how it was edited or if that’s who she really is. Either way, the girl was on a mish-un to find a husband. I understand that’s the premise of the show, but I got the feeling she wanted to win at any cost. And, unfortunately, after she burned through a bunch of fellas who didn’t want her, all that was left was Matt. We didn’t get to see much of Matt and Colleen’s interactions in the pods because I’m guessing the producers thought it was boring as shit. Because Matt is boring as shit. UNTIL he gets lit and goes berserk.
This wedding is the wild card of the season. I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I don’t think Matt will back out, but if Colleen even hesitates for a second with her “I do,” he’s going to start freaking the fuck out. “Tell me, Colleen! Just tell me! Don’t play me!!!” Then he’ll storm out of the room, rip off his mic, and start packing his shit. That man is unhinged and he needs professional help.
I hope that Colleen dumps him. In public. With cameras and witnesses. Because he definitely has violent tendencies. You can just see it. I’m truly worried for Colleen. I also wonder what went on behind the scenes of this show. We only saw a couple of times where he lost his mind and those were over MINOR offenses.
I get that Colleen wants to be married, but girl, RUN. Matt is not the one. You are better off alone any day of the week than being with him. He is toxic AF and might even be dangerous. GET OUT.
I’m excited to finish the season tonight and watch the reunion. The reunions are always such shit shows and I love the drama. Remember that dude last season who told Vanessa Lachey she was the only woman on the show he was attracted to and her husband shut his ass down. I think I rewound and watched that scene 10 times because he was so gross and so satisfying all at the same time.
Do I love trashy TV? HELL YEAH. It’s okay, while I wait for Season 4, I’ll watch a little PBS to replace the brain cells I lost.