I Asked My Tarot Deck How I Can Get the F*ck Out of My Own Way This Year

It did not hold back

Photo by Viva Luna Studios on Unsplash

I’ve had this post sitting in my draft file for a week or so and I’m finally getting a chance to share it. After all the Gomer stuff, I just kind of checked out of here and tried to focus on learning all I could to help him.

I had some quiet time today and I decided I should post this.

If you’ve read Midlife Bites: Anyone Else Falling Apart, Or Is It Just Me? then you know that I was introduced to a woman named Elaine who painted my aura and told me some things I needed to hear and somethings I wanted to hear. After that encounter, I dove headfirst into energy, auras, crystals, and manifesting the shit out of my life. When I met Elaine, I wrote down EVERYTHING she said and only part of it is in the book. I left out a lot of what she told me about the future because I’m not ready to share it yet. And some of it doesn’t have a timeline, so I could be waiting until I’m 90—or it could happen after I’m dead.

I received my first deck of tarot cards soon after the book was published. I’m not an expert, but I like to dabble with them. I noticed that with the new year upon us, a lot of sites are encouraging people to ask a question and draw a card for every month of the year, write down their interpretations, and see what’s in store for them.

I like having a goal with an end date. That’s why I thought pulling 12 cards for 2024 sounded like a fun experiment.

You’re supposed to ask a question to focus on. It could be love, relationships, career, health, what ever you want. I decided I’d better look at my career. I haven’t been productive in a while and I feel an overwhelming urge to get back on track, but I also feel an overwhelming sense of “Eh. Where the fuck do I even start?”

With this in mind, I asked the question: “What do I need to focus on in each of the next 12 months to get the fuck out of my way and further my career?”

I thought about this question as I pulled 12 cards. I used my Mystic Mondays Tarot deck and the guidebook that goes along with it.

And a quick note about the suits:

SWORDS are connected with the element of air. They represent our capacity for logic and thinking. They symbolize the fine balance between intellect and power. Reversed Swords can represent coldness, confusion, and ruthlessness.

WANDS are connected to the element of fire. They represent creative potential, inspiration, and drive. It’s the energy behind the action.

CUPS are connected to the element of water. They are emotional and intuitive. They often represent your emotional state and how you react towards others.

PENTACLES are connected to the element of earth. The ground is firm and reliable, but it is also where we plant seeds to grow. Reversed Pentacles can signify laziness, carelessness.

Here’s what I got:

January—Eight of Swords reversed. Open to new perspectives, release. You’re open to change and have accepted yourself for who you are. You have complete power over yourself.

My focus: I need to stop making excuses, wasting time, and release all the shit that’s holding me back. Just START writing again—even if it’s hot garbage, it’s something. It’s okay to pivot and try something new.

February—Ace of Wands. Creative spark, new passion, enthusiasm. Chase your dreams, follow your gut, instinct over intellect.

My focus: Now is the time to focus on my BIG IDEAS. The ones that feel scary as hell and impossible. Go for it. What’s the worst that could happen? Be excited about new ideas. Try all the things.

March—Six of Cups. Comfort, sentimentality, memories. Reunite with your inner child and let her come out and play. Discover the world in a new way, like a baby with fresh eyes. Let childhood innocence inspire you.

My focus: Hmm. Well, I’ve been working on a children’s book. Maybe this is the month I rewrite it? Or I write another one? “Memories” makes me think maybe I’m not done telling stories from the past. I thought I was out of stories, but I need to keep digging through my dusty brain to see if there’s any gold still in there. Or maybe the past holds some big ideas. “Comfort” makes me think I can’t get too comfortable. Keep pushing forward, don’t get complacent.

April—Princess of Cups. Flow, synchronicity, mystic messages. Pay attention to symbols and dreams. Vulnerability is your strength. Express yourself freely.

My focus: I need to stop worrying about what the neighbors will think. Go back to being honest and open. I used to say what I wanted to say without hesitation but then I stopped. Why? I got tired. I need to get in a flow and make it routine so I don’t get tired. I must be open to messages from unexpected places. I think I’ll keep a dream journal this month and see what crops up.

May—Ten of Pentacles reversed. Financial ruin, destruction. However, the moment is temporary. To rebuild, use what you learned from the past.

My focus: Damn, this sounds awful. Can we just skip May? Reversed Pentacles can signify laziness, which is something I do well (see “comfortable” and “complacent” above). I will need to work on not being lazy or cutting corners this month. I need to stay ahead of the destruction and make whatever is coming as painless as possible. Learning from the past is something I am shit at, so that will be hard too. Fuck May! I guess cry and power through it??

June—Four of Cups. Apathy, melancholy, boredom. You focus too much on what you don’t have instead of seeing the opportunities in front of us. You have options.

My focus: Well, it’s no wonder I feel a little down after that bullshit May brought me! To me this is more need for powering through. I need to recognize that I feel shitty and it feels hard, but I’m not done yet. I can’t get caught up in my own anger and sad sack thoughts so much that I miss the new opportunities right in front of me. There’s always a path—find it!

July—Nine of Swords. Anxiety, worry, distress. Your worst fears are coming true. Fear and doubt are paralyzing you, but remember all is not lost.

My focus: Good grief, the spring is really going to suck! Let’s see, I will have gone through financial ruin, melancholy, and now anxiety. However, if I’ve been doing what I’m supposed to, which is rebuild, learn from my past, don’t dwell on the bad, focus on the opportunities in front of me, etc. then when my worst fears come true, I will still have the power to keep going. I will be trudging along and I can’t let whatever is bothering me keep me from my goals. Fuck fear.

August—Seven of Swords. Deception, discreet, secrets. Confiding in others can bring more harm than good. You must face your problems rather than try and get away with something. This might also be a sign to go on your own path which can inspire innovation.

My focus: Motherfucker! Am I ever going to catch a break or will it be shit for a third of the year? Okay, let’s see what I can focus on here to get through this. “Face your problems” = own your shit. I can do that. Plus, I’m going to use this as a warning: SHUT YOUR MOUTH STARTING TODAY. Keep your secrets to yourself, Jen. Trust no one. I also like the part of going my own way. I would say once or twice a year I threaten to go full rogue slash lone wolf. I think August will be the month I finally try it and see what happens.

September—Nine of Cups. Wish come true! Fulfillment. This is the “wish card.” There’s balance between all areas of your life. Make sure you’re grateful.

My focus: Thank you, Baby Jesus! I get my wish to come true! So, I’ve had my worst fear come true and now I have my wish come true as well? That’s a swing, isn’t it? How can I not be grateful after the Summer of Shit I just had? Of course, I’ll be grateful! Now, I just need to figure out what my wish is, so I can start working towards it now and manifest it by September.

October—The Chariot. Success, ambition, determination, focus. You’re in control. Remember to run your own race.

My focus: DON’T TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF THE GAS. Finally, things are going in the right direction and this month I need to build on that. I’ve had opportunities in front of me that I almost missed—but I didn’t because I was ready—and I assume those led to my wish coming true (or a billionaire adopted me). Now it’s time to WORK. Head down, ignore the competition, ignore the distractions, ignore the voice in your head, stay in your lane, do what you do you best. You’re the boss, applesauce. Let’s goooooo!

November—Two of Pentacles. Balance, prioritization. You can see the big picture, but don’t forget about the steps you need to get there. Create structure in your life and focus on the tasks at hand.

My focus: I feel called out. Can I tell you how many big picture ideas I have with no actual plan? Early in my real estate career, my broker took me to lunch. She told she was impressed with the sales numbers I was putting up. I was all proud of myself. And then she said, “You’re this good shooting from the hip, can you imagine what you could do if you actually had a plan? It’s too bad you don’t plan.” That took the air out of me. I’ve always been someone who shoots from the hip, a pantser, and all the other things you say about disorganized, unfocused folks. NO MORE! I’m racing with The Chariot, but I’m going to need to ease up a bit so I can make a plan. This is the month I make a plan—preferably 5 years, because who knows when I’ll get focused again?

December—Queen of Pentacles. Intuition, compassion. You’ll be in a high state of creativity and imagination. Be empathetic, but with boundaries.

My focus: So in September, I got my wish and then I got to work and capitalized on all my opportunities in October. In November I made a plan. Now it’s December. I see all the stuff about intuition and compassion and creativity but what jumps out at me is “boundaries.” Over the last few years I’ve let my boundaries weaken. I think December is when I reinforce my boundaries. Once the boundaries are strong, intuition and creativity can come through.

When I was done pulling 12 cards and I was putting the deck down, a card LITERALLY flew out at me. Guess what it was?

The Motherfucking Queen of Wands. That bitch is vivacious, dynamic, and full of authenticity. She is pure feminine fire. She’s a strong independent woman who is not afraid to speak her mind, and a natural leader with influence.

The message from her was, Hey dumbass, 2024 is the year you don’t hold back! You asked how to get the fuck out of your own way. I just told you.

I’m on it.

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