I Promise I Didn't See Your Nudes

And other things I find myself saying to strangers

Some form of this post may eventually be included in Living with People I Want to Punch in the Throat. It is unedited and in rough draft form.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

A few years ago, an interviewer asked me, “Do funny things happen to you, or do you make things funny?”

That question took me a second to answer. I had to think a bit and finally I said, “I make things funny.”

However, I’m rethinking that statement. I think funny things are just happening to me.

Actually, funny isn’t the right word. Weird things that are kind of funny keep happening to me.

Let me explain: one night I made an effort to put on a bra and leave my house. I was turning into a bit of a recluse and I didn’t like it. I knew I had to get out there and meet some new people and try some new things or else I’d need to start looking for a bridge to live under.

That’s why I said yes to my friend Ophelia when she invited me to a get-together for middle-aged women at a nearby restaurant.

It seemed like an no-brainer:

• I’m a middle-aged woman.

• I’m looking for friendly conversation.

• The restaurant is too close for me to complain about traffic.

• I like Ophelia.

• I love appetizers.