EVEN MORE SPOILERS TODAY.
So, yesterday I wrote about Love is Blind. You can read it here.
When I wrote my post yesterday, I had not finished the season or watched the Reunion special. Well, I am all caught up now and all I can say is, I probably owe Cole an apology.
I still stand by what I said about everyone else.
Last night kicked off with the Zanab and Cole wedding. It was the usual getting ready stuff with Zanab overthinking everything and Cole goofing off. I was positive Cole was going to dump Zanab. He’d been portrayed for most of the season as a bro who couldn’t get over the hump that Zanab just wasn’t pretty enough for him. He’d also been cast as a doofus kid who drove type-A Zanab crazy with his immaturity. Ok, I’ll give the producers that. The guy lived like a frat house mascot and talked entirely too much, but was he the villain we all thought he was?
We all saw him speak to Colleen and tell Colleen that she was 100% his type. Gross. He’d made up his mind in the pods to pass on her, but now that he saw that body, he was like, “Shit. I fucked up.” Definitely not cool when you’re on a show called Love is BLIND. The whole point is to fall in love without seeing that ass.
But, whatever. He said what he said and Colleen said what she said. Matt freaked the fuck out about being disrespected and didn’t simmer down until Cole told him it was all cool. But I digress, this isn’t about Matt and his tiny dick energy outbursts. This is about Cole and what he said.
Listen, we’ve all been there, right? I dated a guy who once told me I was cool and I had a very pretty face, but I could “have any man in this bar” if I just dropped 20 pounds. I was a young, slightly insecure 20-something girl at the time. I just sort of giggled and said, “Okay.”
As a 30-year-old woman I would have replied, “Actually, I can have any man right now. Byeeee,” and walked out.
That’s what Zanab should have done. When Cole told her she wasn’t his usual type, she should have leaned into that and been like, “I know. That’s why we’re here!”
It was clear from the beginning that Zanab came with some baggage. (If I signed up for a dating reality show, I would have absolutely shown up with baggage, though. It goes with the territory.) But Zanab obviously had insecurities about her looks. Remember that first night when she was worried about taking off her makeup in front of Cole? And the shitty conversation he had with Colleen just solidified all her fears.
This is where it got interesting though. Because as a woman, I always believe the women. Always. It’s my fatal flaw. When my friends are going through shit, I am always on their side. I’m always good for a rousing course of “Fuck him!” or “That’s bullshit!” or “Of course you’re right!” And I was hardcore Team Zanab.
Sure, I thought she was bossy AF (but from one Bossy Bitch to another, I agreed with her war, even if I didn’t necessarily agree with her battles—I will let a man cook for me any day of the week and I’ll be grateful for that unseasoned chicken). Of course, I found her a tad bit annoying, but we’re all annoying. Can you imagine me starring in a reality show?? I’d have dedicated haters. BUT, I believed her!
Now, my support for her did waver when I watched the wedding. There’s Cole standing up there with his weird bowtie, grinning like a fool, and then here comes Zanab taking so many deep breaths I’m afraid she might actually pass out. She gets up to the altar and Cole’s full of compliments and she’s all giggly and I’m thinking, “She’s going to say yes.”
And then Zanab asks if she can offer a prayer. That girl thanked God for Cole and for the opportunity to know him. I think she also silently asked the Lord for strength to rip that man a new asshole, because after they both exchanged sweet words for one another, Zanab took one more deep breath and UNLEASHED HELL.
Look, I get that you can say, “I don’t” and after 3 seasons of this show, we’ve had several “I don’ts” but damn, Zanab! She wasn’t like, “I don’t and I’m sorry, but we can chat privately about it later if you’d like.” No. She was like, “Today I’m choosing violence, Cole” and then pulled out a flame-thrower and burned him to the ground in front of everyone.
I’ve read that Zanab said she didn’t have that speech rehearsed and if that’s true, she’s a gifted orator because she didn’t stutter once.
Zanab gave one more giant exhale and was like, “Whoo, glad I got that off my chest! Peace!” and she bolted, leaving Cole looking like he got kicked in the face WHILE HER FRIENDS APPLAUDED.
Ohhh shit.
It was so messy. Messy, messy, messy. And I was wavering a bit at that point. I was like, Fuck, Zanab really went there. She didn’t give a fuck! On one hand, I admired it, but on the other, Cole burst into tears. I’m not heartless, I didn’t want to see Cole cry. To be honest, I didn’t even know his feelings ran that deep for Zanab. That revelation was almost more shocking than her calling him out in front of God and family.
BUT THEN, we had the Reunion and Cole was still looking a little rough around the edges and Zanab was looking…a little like Colleen. Do they have the same hair color now??
Once the topic came around to Zanab and Cole, the entire cast piled on him. We had to rehash the whole pool scene where everyone acted like Cole said, “I’ll do you right here. Dump that loser Matt and I’ll ditch that cow Zanab. Let’s run away together!” The word “disrespect” was thrown around so many times I felt like it was a drinking game. The girls were all Team Zanab and many were saying things like, “You didn’t see half of it” and “There was a tangerine thing” and “He got a girl’s number at the bachelor party.”
Cole looked flabbergasted. But, again, I’m still Team Z. Men lie. They do. I don’t know what the fuck he did with a tangerine, but Cole’s a bit of a player, so phone numbers at the bachelor party made sense.
But then Cole was like, “We were at a rodeo! It was all guys and cows.”
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. My Team Zanab banner started to falter a bit. What was she talking about?
At this point, the guys kind of threw him under the bus too. They were like, “I chased a cow and then I went straight home” and “I don’t know, man. The night’s a blur. I had 20 beers and 20 shots.” WTF, my dudes?? The girls might have blind loyalty, but y’all DISRESPECTED Cole. (Drink.)
Cole was stressed. He was fighting for his life here. Just taking one blow after another from everyone. He was like, “You’re lying, Zanab. Air the footage! I didn’t do any of this!” But I still hung on for Zanab. His tears weren’t going to move me!
But then Cole was like, “If I was so horrible, then why did you show up for the wedding?”
Good question, Cole!
Zanab’s answer was an absolute word salad about seeing glimpses of the good Cole and fighting for her relationship right up to the end and how she still loved him or something. Honestly, she didn’t make any sense. There was a lot of stuff about “You were bad to me, but you’re not bad.” Huh??
And then Zanab started talking about the now infamous “Cutie Story.” Ok, so they’d been filming all day and she was hungry, so she grabbed two Cutie oranges and according to her, Cole said, “Are you going to eat both of those?” And she said, “That’s a serving size.” And then he talked about how they were going to dinner later and she shouldn’t ruin her appetite, etc. The way she told the story, Cole sounded judgmental and rude about her eating so much food. The rest of the cast and the hosts were looking at Cole like, “You fat-shaming son of a bitch.”
Cole was practically in tears.
Meanwhile, he WAS in tears by the end of the Reunion. The Reunion ended on a bizarre note with Cole sobbing and Zanab saying, “I have no regrets. I’d do it again with you.” WHYYYYY?
This was the point where I finally started doubting Zanab a bit. She did make Cole sound like the Devil, so how could she say she’d do it again?? And her stories were so all over the map and didn’t make a lot of sense when you started putting them together. There were lots of instances where she’d contradict herself. And she was so COLD. Like an ice queen. If she truly loved this guy like she said, wouldn’t she feel something when he’s sitting there begging for understanding and crying his heart out?
But there was no closure. Nick and Vanessa were like, “This was so much fun. See you next season when we ruin the reputations of another 30 people!” [I judge, but you know I’ll be there for it, though.]
Fade out, you think the show’s over…
UNTIL, the producers rolled THE NEVER SEEN CUTIES STORY!!!!!
And, holy shit, y’all. My jaw was on the fucking floor.
The disconnect was INSANE.
The WORDS were exactly as Zanab described, but the DELIVERY was the absolute opposite.
There was NO shaming!
Cole simply asked, “Are you going to eat both of those?” and Zanab must have heard, “Hey, fat ass, are you really going to stuff yourself on oranges when we have a dinner reservation in five hours? You’re a pig. Colleen would never eat two oranges!”
And then they talked about bananas and peanut butter and poke bowls and the dinner reservation on and on. The treatment Zanab said she received from Cole never surfaced! Zanab was definitely projecting, but Cole was simply making conversation. It was quite boring, actually.
And then there was a line that I’ll never forget. Cole said, “Sometimes I wonder if you’re hearing the words that I am saying.”
Zanab replied, “You already know I don’t listen half the time.”
Everything I thought I knew was shattered (much like Cole supposedly shattered Zanab’s self-esteem). Everything was a lie. Of course, I know the producers craft a story and they pick heroes and villains but this was an absolute blindside. It was better than any thriller movie I’ve watched in a long time. THE INSULTS WERE COMING FROM INSIDE ZANAB’S HEAD!!!
And, so I humbly ask Cole to accept my apology. I still think you did some shitty things that I won’t let go of, but I did misjudge you a bit.
My bad.
I think Cole got lucky.
I feel badly for Cole, I never did like Zay…. She’s cute, but that attitude… yikes. I’d comfort Cole any day. He didn’t deserve that, and honestly I think she needs some counseling.