Ok, so by now you know I have an obsession with Love is Blind. You can catch up here:
And now I have yet another Love is Blind post.
So, in the past, I’ve happily, gleefully, and without a second thought, thrown Matt, Barftise and Cole under the bus. But then, look what happened with Cole! At first, I was like, “Fuck Cole!” and then Cole was like, “Hang on, I’m being gaslit here! I’m an asshole, but I’m not a complete asshole!” and then the producers were like, “Anyone want a Cutie?” and then my mind was blown.
And Matt…No. I stand by everything I said about Matt. He’s controlling and manipulative and a drunken powder keg that will go off one of these days. Run, Colleen.
And then Bartiste! Well, actually, nothing has come out yet that’s changed my opinion of Bartiste. But I can’t be certain I won’t flip-flop in the future because everything is a LIE!
This reality show is a fake!
I mean, I knew reality shows are fake I was once on House Hunters, well, not me exactly, but a house I was selling was on there and the producers did my house dirty and the whole episode was made up and my clients and I were shook, but I digress. I really believed Love is Blind! I wanted to believe in loooooove and now I’m not certain I can anymore.
If you don’t keep up with all the gossip on Love is Blind, then you’re probably utterly confused right now, so let me bring you up to date:
Bartise told Nancy he loves her, but wasn’t attracted to her, but he’d sleep with her to be nice—sometimes. He also told Raven that ultimately they didn’t connect on an emotional level in the pods, but now that he saw what a “smoke show” she was he was regretting that decision. Also, he likes to police women’s bodies. I really don’t see how Bartise can come back from ALL of this.
Cole told Zanab she was a solid 9 but Colleen was a goddamn 10 (totally shitty move), and then denied her food—kind of but not really. Cole was slightly redeemed in the world’s eyes, but we can all agree he’s still a garbage baby man.
Matt needs a fuck ton of counseling and probably a restraining order in the future.
SK was the knight in shining armor. SK was the one the producers hyped up as the Golden Boy. His family was lovely and they welcomed Raven with open arms. He was ambitious and smart but not cocky. He lived well, he dressed well! He was drama-free all season long. He loved Raven but didn’t propose because he wanted to make sure the timing was right because they both have full and busy lives.
YEAH THEY DO. Unbeknownst to all of us, SK’s life is full of other women who are out there making Tiktok videos about him being a cheat and a liar!
Oh, the humanity!! SK we were rooting for you, you dumb son of a bitch! I believed your humble but confident bullshit. I even ignored the few red flags I saw (like going on a reality show with no plans to stay in town and asking a local girl with her own thriving business to marry you and move). Or being a bit of Mama’s Boy. Or never making me laugh—ever. Even Bartise said a few funny things. But still! Sure, you weren’t the one I would have chosen in the pods, but you seemed perfect for Raven and that’s the whole point of this show! If Raven was happy, I was happy!
But now two different women have come out with stories about SK sliding into their DMs, taking them on trips, and reassuring them that Raven’s just a pal. Yeah, because I have joint Instagram accounts with all my friends. But that joint Instagram account they shared is gone and Raven has deleted all of her lovey-dovey pics with SK. Honestly, she’s better off without him. He was boring AF and way too close to his mother.
Well, shit. I guess that means the only marriage we got this season was Alexa and Brennon—my least favorite couple. I found them annoying as hell during the season and then rude as hell at the reunion. I’m not sure what they were so smug about. That relationship isn’t as perfect as they think. Let’s see where they are in a year or ten. If they’re still together by that time, THEN they can be smug. But right now, they need to simmer down. They’re barely married and judging everyone’s relationship like they’ve got it all figured out.
I’m a little depressed because that means there wasn’t one happy couple to root for this season. (No Matt, you and Colleen do not count!)
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