New Year, New Me
blah, blah, blah
Hello, friends! Happy New Year. Well, I’ve done some reflecting on 2024, and all I can say is, Wow, that was a fucked up trash year and I’m glad it’s over with.
I’m not saying 2025 is going to be great or anything, but holy shit, it’s got to be better than 2024, right?
Right?
Yeah, I know about the election results and I’ve been watching bits and pieces of the cabinet hearings and I know the United States looks like The Handmaid’s Tale and Idiocracy had a baby, but I’m still holding out hope that this year will be better than last year.
I’m not one to make resolutions. In the past, I’ve done the whole word for the year thing and that was okay. Last year I pulled tarot cards and ironically they warned me that in August I’d share secrets with the wrong people who would betray me. Guess when my Facebook pages were stolen because I told some dumb fucker pertinent information? Motherfucking August.
This year I’m not sure what I’m doing to plan for my year ahead. I’m making to-do lists. I do love a good list. I’m setting goals and hard-ass deadlines, which is more than I did in 2024. I’m giving myself some grace and allowing myself to be kind of fucked up without the guilt. I used to be able to spit out thousands of words at time and I think this is the most I’ve written in weeks. I need to lower my expectations a bit and then be happy when I hit my goals. I’m still focused on everyone’s health, but I’m not going to let it consume me this year like I did last year. I’ve got to find a balance this year where I can take care of health shit and still get my work done. (Easier said than done, since I have to call our new insurance company today and fight with them about necessary medications they’re not interested in covering. BUT I decided to wait to call them until AFTER I was done writing this. See? Balance! I figure the insurance company will always be there and one or two hours won’t make a difference to them but it will to my motivation to write this newsletter.)
The good news is I have a fuck ton of stuff that is MOSTLY finished. That’s a better spot than I was in back in January 2024. The other good news is my eye is getting a lot better, Gomer’s feeling pretty good, and Adolpha is seeing a slew of new doctors. The best news is we’ve had Hammy for a year now and he hasn’t shat in the house in probably 6 months (knock on wood).
Oh wait, I don’t have much wood left to knock on because Hammy likes to eat wood. He’s eaten a chunk of the floor in my kitchen and part of our staircase. Little fucker.
Some other good news is that “Write a new Substack post” is on my to-do list for several times a week in 2025. I still have no clue what I’ll write about. (I never do.) If you have some topics you’d like my take on, just send me an email.
With the imminent ban of the TikTok and Facebook not giving a shit about the truth, it’s time that I implore you to subscribe to me here. Hold on, a new topic idea just appeared in my brain. Let me write it down before I forget:
Zuck’s weird ass hairdo. What IS that? Hair Club for Men? A rug? Whose idea was it? Not his wife’s I bet. I feel like he hired a PR team to tell him how to look more like a human being and less like a robot and they were like, “Get a perm. Bitches love perms.”
Back to the topic at hand: SUBSCRIBING TO THIS SUBSTACK. It’s the only guaranteed way we’re going to stay in touch (unless I show up at your door and tell you about my week). Yes, I joined BlueSky, of course. You can follow me there until it becomes a shit hole.
But this is the best place and that’s why I’m going to reward some of you. If you haven’t subscribed here yet, PLEASE do so. If you sign up as a free subscriber, you will be entered into a drawing to receive a signed copy of any of my books (your choice). I will sign and ship it to anywhere. All current free subscribers are entered automatically. Throughout the month of February, I’ll be drawing names and contacting the winners via the email they used to subscribe with.
If you sign up to be a paid subscriber, you’ll be entered into a different drawing. You’ll, of course, get a signed book. But you’ll also get a tote bag and a $50 gift card to Amazon. One lucky winner will get all that and a bag of chips and a Kindle Paperwhite. All current paid subscribers are entered in the drawing. I’ll be drawing names throughout the month of February and contacting winners via the email they used to subscribe with.
I really appreciate you all. I’ve received so many lovely emails and Christmas cards this month with some funny and really heartfelt messages. It sucks being away from here, but it’s nice to be missed. I’m glad you didn’t forget about me.
Take care and let’s have a really, really fine 2025.
If you don't make Bitches Love Perms into merch, you are leaving money on the table.
Really happy to see you back. 2024 was indeed a year of complete and utter shit. I haven't mentioned a word about 2025 because I don't even want it to know I'm here.