When Mom Gets Sick
When Mom Gets Sick
I’ve been pretty quiet this week because I’m sick. I don’t have the ‘Rona or even the flu, but I do have some kind of nasty thing that makes it hard to function properly.
I feel like the Hubs and I have a pretty good 50/50 split when it comes to responsibilities around here, but when he’s sick I make him quarantine. I don’t do this so he can have a break and just focus on his recovery. I do this for incredibly selfish reasons.
If he infects the kids, that’s a fuck ton more work for me. I said we’re 50/50 but not when it comes to taking care of sick kids. While I’m in the trenches with a projectile-vomiting kid, he’s good to leave a glass of water at the door and whisper words of encouragement while dry-heaving. This has always been the way. When they were babies and had blow-outs, he was like, “Oh, I’m going to be sick! I can’t do this.” Vomiting and poo have always been no-gos for him. Luckily, we haven’t had much blood to deal with so I don’t know how he’d be with blood.
But even middle-of-the-night fevers are my job. A few weeks ago both kids were sick and neither could sleep through the night. I was up taking care of them and the Hubs was always surprised in the morning to hear I’d been awake for hours doing laundry, getting medicine, pushing fluids, all that good stuff.
I also send him to quarantine because I don’t want to get sick. Because if I get sick, there’s no cushy quarantine for me. I don’t get to luxuriate in the guest room and have my meals brought to me on a tray. I don’t get to nap and watch Netflix. I get to do all the things I normally do but with a fever and a cough. And I have to try and stay away from my kids so they don’t get sick.
When I get sick, I offer to quarantine. I say, “I’ll move to the guest room” and the Hubs will say, “No. Stay. It’s okay.” He makes it seem like he wants me to stay because he’ll miss me or he wants to take care of me or he can’t bear the thought of me being lonely in the guest room. (Trust me, I’d be just GREAT by myself in the guest room!) But really, he does it because he doesn’t want to do all the things by himself. He’d rather have me snot all over the laundry if it means he doesn’t have to do it on top of his other responsibilities. If I try to go to bed early, he’ll say, “Really? I could use some help tonight.” Are you kidding me, Hubs? This is coming from the man who takes a daily nap—sick or not.
This week has been the rare occurrence where we’re both sick and it sucks.
“You got me sick!” the Hubs accused me.
“Yeah, because you wouldn’t let me quarantine,” I said.
I did this to myself. Next time I won’t offer, I’ll just do it. Because nothing is getting done around here and all we’ve been doing all week is competing to see who has the worst symptoms.
“I have a bad cough,” the Hubs complained.
“When I cough I pee my pants, which creates more laundry for me to do,” I argued.
One point for Jen.
“My throat hurts,” the Hubs whined.
“What? I can’t hear you,” I replied. “My throat is on fire, but my ears are completely full and painful.”
Two points for Jen.
“I have a headache,” the Hubs exclaimed.
“That’s the one part of my body that doesn’t hurt,” I said.
One point for the Hubs.
“I’m exhausted because you snored so loud last night,” the Hubs cried.
“I couldn’t breathe,” I replied. “If it makes you feel better, I snored so loud I woke myself up.”
Draw.
This morning I woke up feeling much better, but the Hubs is doubling down. Now he can’t speak above a whisper and he’s lethargic. I know I should take him seriously but he really only has two levels of sickness: man cold or ER visit and it’s always hard to know which level we’re at. Man cold is his typical level, and I think that’s where he’s at today. Especially since he’s making a grocery shopping list for me. He’s too weak to run errands, but he’s healthy enough to eat steak? “It’s two for seven dollars, Jen!”
I guess I’m not opposed to going to the store. I’m just tired. And I haven’t showered in two…no three…days. I’ve been living on cereal and popsicles all week, though. It would be nice to have something other than cereal. Judging from the number of dirty dishes in the sink, I’ll need to buy paper plates too.
Fine. As soon as I get the energy to shower, I’ll get the food. That will give him plenty of time to be up from his nap when I get home so he can cook it because we’re 50/50!
Who takes care of you when you’re sick?
I have that rare husband who not only doesn't EVER whine when he's sick (which is pretty much never, the man has an amazing immune system for someone who never went to the doctor) but takes care of my every need when I take ill. I usually just hibernate so not to spread my germs to him, and he gets me whatever stuff I need from the drug store or supermarket. I do the same for him when he'll even admit he isn't feeling well.
I'm very lucky, and I know it. Hang in there, Jen. Hope you and your man baby feel much better soon. 😉
My partner gets the manflu, but he just wants to be left alone to sleep it off. He’s fine with either of us quarantining to try and keep the other from getting sick. But mostly we both want to be left alone to get through it.