Even though it’s Friday, I woke up with a bad attitude, and then it only got worse as soon as I opened my news app. A news story that I would normally be interested in dropped a week ago, but because the Queen died and the news has been on a 24/7 death vigil for a woman who has nothing to do with us, the story didn’t catch my eye until today.
So, let me bring you up to date. There’s a couple in Texas. Kailee and Cade—adorable, I know. Anyway, Kailee and Cade used to be everything you imagined a white couple from Texas would be like: proud to be Texan and staunch anti-choice.
UNTIL, Kailee had a miscarriage six years ago and it was scary as fuck. She had severe complications including blood clots and an infection. All of a sudden, she realized that birthing babies is dangerous business. No shit, Kailee. Between my own experiences and the births I’ve witnessed, I’ve decided that childbirth is really just controlled chaos where the nurses and doctors are dealing with whatever shit comes at them (literally and figuratively).
After Kailee’s miscarriage she says she and her husband changed their views and became pro-choice. Isn’t that always the way, though???
Why does it have to impact someone personally before they can actually stop being an asshole to everyone else? This is the part that pisses me off.
I’m sorry that Kailee had to go through a miscarriage, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but then to have the added fear that she might die had to be terrifying for her. However, it shouldn’t take a near-death experience for Kailee and Cade to be like, “Hang on. This is a complicated subject with lots of nuances and I’m not sure a blanket ban on a medical procedure that I don’t really understand, even though I could Google it, will be good for women.”
Cut to last September when Texas put their restrictive anti-abortion law into effect. Kailee’s doctor warned her that with health problems it would be unsafe for her to get pregnant in Texas. But Kailee and Cade didn’t listen and that November, they found out they were expecting a boy.
Three months later they received devastating news: the pregnancy wasn’t viable. The fetus had several complications and would be born stillborn or die within minutes. On top of that, if Kailee carried to term, she was at risk for blood clots, preeclampsia, cancer, and other severe complications. If they weren’t in Texas, her doctors would have recommended an abortion.
But guess what?
They were in Texas and Texas DGAF about Kailee’s prognosis. Abortions were illegal. Period.
Lucky for Kailee, though, New Mexico still had legal abortions and she could afford the $3,500 to travel there and have a life-saving procedure that her insurance wouldn’t cover. [Side note: Fucking hell. The insurance industry is another rant for another day. I hate those fucking ghouls.]
“I’ve never felt so betrayed by a place I was once proud to be from,” Kailee told CNN through tears.
What did you think was going to happen, Kailee?? How in the world did you ever think it was going to go any differently?
Until six years ago, you supported the nutjobs and fuckwits that made up these laws and if you hadn’t had your own brush with mortality, you’d (probably) still be supporting them. And still when your doctor told you, “Don’t do it” you were like, “Oops, I did it” and then you were shocked that Texas was like, “You fucked around, now you’ll find out.”
[Also, can I add another side note here? It irks me to death that when you talk to pro-life folks and you ask them what will happen to all the unwanted babies that women were forced to birth, they always bring up adoption as their favorite dumping ground for these children. But when you mention there are more than 400,000 children currently in foster care who need safe, loving homes they clam up real quick. If Kailee and Cade were so pro-life and wanted children so bad that she was willing to risk her health and compromise their values why didn’t they just adopt??? But I digress…]
Texas has decided to go full Gilead and make this barbaric law, even when they know most of the country supports keeping abortion legal and safe. But they must be worried about public outcry and outright revolt from everyone—even their conservative base—because they’ve announced they will not be releasing their maternal death data until after mid-terms. OF COURSE NOT! It’s almost like if women knew those numbers they wouldn’t vote for the GOP or something! Isn’t that always the way, though? Why would we ever expect the Republicans to play fair?
I’m torn, because of course I’m happy that people like Kailee and Cade have changed their opinions and are speaking out about their experiences, but it’s the hypocrisy for me. This just reinforces to me that it must impact a conservative personally for them to ever change their minds. They need a life-saving abortion? Someone they love is the victim of racism? Their house of worship is vandalized? They need shelter because they’ve been displaced from their homes by natural disasters? They’re shot in the produce section at the grocery store? They’ve got medical bills that forced them into bankruptcy? Their trans child wants to play a sport? Ohhhh wellll, now all of sudden, these laws that they’ve previously supported are unfair and wrong!
I’m glad they’re finally on board, but I wish it didn’t take absolute disaster to help them find their humanity.
I live in TX, I am a liberal democrat who leans hard liberal on social issues. I do not have kids but have been pregnant, so you do the math. Jen Mann has met me several times, she knows me and where I stand. I am struggling to live in this state for a variety of reasons, but the abortion ban was really the final straw for me. Even though I am no longer going to get pregnant, the ability to choose for yourself and the decisions you make for your body are sacred and yours alone. I do know people who live here who continue to support Greg Abbott (I call him Hot Wheels, google why if you don't know) despite his reign of bullshit and returning women to the 1800's. I have lost friends because of this but believe in my heart, these things should not stand and we need a new governor ASAP. I advise anyone who agrees with Jen's post or are just tired of men telling women what to do with their bodies and want to help us in TX, please go to mothersagainstgregabbott.com and support the work they are doing to remove Greg Abbott. It takes a village ladies, and I am tired of living in Gilead.
So. Much. This. It's always enraged me. Oh your wife has MS and now you want to join all the groups and push for more research?! Your best friend was raped and now you want better legislation for sex offenses?! I'm glad when come around... but jfc LISTEN TO US IN THE FIRST PLACE. WE'RE NOT JUST SCREAMING INTO THE VOID FOR OUR HEALTH. Though oftentimes our healthcare is literally at risk, soooooo...