Will That Be Cash or Credit?

Back to the basics.

Photo by SumUp on Unsplash

Today I was thinking about what I wanted to write about. At first, I was like, “Fuck Katy Perry and Oprah’s BFF for going to space in Lauren Sanchez’s boyfriend’s penis rocket and acting like it was for women’s empowerment and not a billionaire’s publicity stunt while eggs are 10 bucks.” And then I was like, “Was Hegseth drunk at the White House Easter Egg Roll when he went off on the press (in front of his obviously embarrassed children) about sharing top secret government shit with his wife on Signal?“ And then I was like, “Ew, Elon Musk is sliding into the DMs of women he wants to impregnate to create some sort of super army of douches before the apocalypse he’s creating.” And then I was like, “It’s a conspiracy theory—but it’s a really good one—that J.D. Vance sent the Pope to heaven.”

And THEN I saw a story that reminded me of the good old days.

A story about your average, ordinary, everyday, run-of-the-mill asshole I want to punch in the throat and I was like, “Yes. Let’s get back to the basics this week!”